It’s a Mad Mad Mad World

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named “Bush”, “Dick”, and “Colon”. – Chris Rock

“China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.”
Former French President Charles de Gaulle.

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, ‘Whoa, I’m way too high!’
-Bruce Baum

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
– Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss America contest

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man.
— Mark Twain]

“Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.”
Frank Dane.

“Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.”
Jim Murray.

“Sure, there have been deaths and injuries in boxing, but none of them serious.”
Alan Winter.

“To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.”
From ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ 1895.

“To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.”
Paul Ehrlich.

“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”- George Burns

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch

“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.”
Ronald Reagan.

“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.”

“If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.”
George Gobol.

“Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.”
Matt Lauer on NBC’s Today Show .

“Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.”
Albert Einstein

“As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.”
Cokie Roberts

“He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.”
Joseph Heller.

“All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.”
Maurice Maeterlinck.

“I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”
Winston Churchill.

Other quotes in the next episode of Its a Mad Mad Mad world. Keep tuned.

3 Responses to “It’s a Mad Mad Mad World”
  1. Mottled mosaic says:

    Nicely put together. But umm… <>Ms. Alabama<> in Miss Universe?

  2. Panthera Tigris says:

    My mistake, corrected it. Thanks a lot for your comments. 🙂

  3. Beautiful Mind says:

    ummm…someone is learning to diversify!!lol… nice read!

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