Bleached to the Bones

I read a post on Mayur’s Blog: about his experience with a barber and it motivated me to share my own experience.

I can sympathise with Mayur. Each time I go to the barber, he keeps pestering me into getting a facial or bleach done. His reasons are that my skin is a bit tanned in places and bleaching would remove it and make the skin smooth…..whatever does that mean. After many months I decided to give in and allowed him to bleach my face.
Not only the smell is irritating, the stuff also itches a lot. You feel like ripping your skin off. After 15 minutes of torture, I scratched my face, only to get a scolding from the barber as the pack had not dried yet. So he re-applied it and I had to wait for another 30 minutes before it could be removed. And to top it all, he had to apply ice on it to remove it…..yes ICE….and that too on a January morning in Delhi.

In the mean while the guy began giving me a head massage. Either he thought that using brute force on the head would help the scalp to soak in tha oil better or he was trying to scare any lice present into believing that my head had turned into an active volcano. It seems he wanted to test the strength of my skull. Then he wore a vibrating machine on his hand like a glove and plugged it in, which was a bit soothing, till the guy inserted his index finger in my ear holes.

Then he took a long thread and twisted it about his fingers. He said he was going to remove some unwanted hair on my face and that the procedure was called threading. It didn’t sound bad…but….did it hurt. Hats off to those who get it done regularly. I bet all these stuff were banned by the Geneva Conventions.

After about 2 hours of torture, my barber suggested a facial. Now I had a strong feeling that he had got some new products and wanted to test them on me. It all began with a bleach and he wanted to apply all the creams available in the market on me. I flatly refused as my patience had run out.

The interesting thing is the way the barbers talk to you. It would seem you were the dirtiest person in the world and unfit to live in the civilised world. Finally my ordeal ended and all the employees at the barber shop were complimenting me and said that my face was glowing. Frankly, I couldn’t spot the different except the fact that they had removed some facial hair including the eye-brow hair, which made me look more like a transvestite.

I stayed at home for 5 days after that and didn’t go out until I had regrown some of my hair. Else, I would have been the laughing stock of town. But horrors or horrors, my regrown beard had some…no…….many golden coloured hair. It was quite odd. I looked like the ugly brother of Mona Lisa. In the end I used my trusty shaving blade to shave of the hedious mass of colourful hair. I guess this could be tagged into the category of horror as well.

3 Responses to “Bleached to the Bones”
  1. delhizen says:

    Gawd! I wish someone cud capture you on camera… It wud have made a good picture and tag is as cartoon 🙂

  2. Prateek says:

    @Pal: Which look did you want captured, th one in which I was looking like a cross dresser or when I had the half golden half black beard?

  3. Sapna says:

    I don’t think Pal would mind either of the photos 😉

    ” The interesting thing is the way the barbers talk to you.It would seem you were the dirtiest person in the world and unfit to live in the civilised world.” — Agreed with you an that. Evrytime I speak to the Beautician, I feel I am the most ill groomed person on earth 😀

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