Lessons


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In my 22 years of existence on this earth, I have called India home, which is also the world’s biggest nay largest democracy. I was born in a free nation. This democratic setup has taught me many lessons about life, a few of which I wish to share:

1)      I have a right to free speech, but I also have the right to prevent others from using it, if I do not agree with their views.

2)      All government and public properties were constructed so that I can break them to vent my anger.

3)      The constitution gives me “The right to empty bladder anywhere and everywhere.”

4)      If I wish to commit a crime, I can always apply for anticipatory bail first and then do anything. It is like a free pass.

5)      “The right to chew tobacco and then paint the town red.” is one of the fundamental rights.

6)      Constructing a religious building is the easiest way to grab land and then make some moolah from the donation box.

7)      “Rioting” is our national sport. RBI (Rioting Board of India) is its apex governing body. Regular tournaments are held for all ages. And it is the cheapest sport, you don’t need training or equipment.

8)      Time taken for a job to be done is inversely proportional to the amount of dough being coughed out by you.

9)      “Work is blasphemy, duty is the devil”

10)   The easiest way to prevent anything is to issue a PIL on it.

11)   Nothing can move forward without forming a committee first to work on its management, another committee to check on the first ones findings and before that a committee to first decide who all will sit in the two committees.

12)   Throwing litter in a garbage box is a crime and may lead to a jail term of 5 years if you are caught.

13)    Most rules of the road do not apply to me.

14)   Eve teasing and ogling at women is acceptable by law.

If you have any more points to share, then do leave them here. Knowledge should be shared.

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Comments
11 Responses to “Lessons”
  1. Vega says:

    Sarcasm at its best. What made you write this suddenly in the middle of nothing?

  2. Prateek says:

    Thank you. While writing the post titled “Democratic Fiasco” – https://unpredictableblog.wordpress.com/2010/03/09/democratic-fiasco/
    a satirical version also came in mind. But I decided to make it more general in the end so that I don’t end up posting two articles on the same issue.

  3. Rajlakshmi says:

    loved the sarcasm dripping from each point :D
    awesome post… but sadly true…

  4. Mayur says:

    Whats ur point?

  5. Hm hm.. that’s very interessting but honestly i have a hard time figuring it… I’m wondering what others have to say….

  6. Mayur says:

    If this is reality, I think we need to change it.

  7. Sapna says:

    Loved the sarcasm… And Congrats on being featured on Tangy Tuesday :D

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