Me And Other Animals…..And Birds And Insects


I now firmly believe that I emit some kind of wild life attracting pheromone. The recent escapade with a mare proved the point. I love animals, that

One of my room mates

many know and the rest know now. But the attraction is not one-sided it seems. My room has spiders and they crawl all over me. And a few times I have had to discourage them from trying to make a web with me as one of the corner point. I have spent many hours sitting still, observing a spider catching and eating a prey or spinning a web….only to realise later that another one has started weaving it’s own net between my bent arm. I let them roam around because of two reasons. A) I am not too fond of insects, I like them from far. And an enemies enemy is an ally B) I have this ridiculous idea that one day one of them will bite me and I will be converted into a spider-man or some other spider related superhero. And err… not the Desi Ispiderman kind (this was a clarification to those who know about it and might get ideas). The same is with lizards….except that I don’t have any plans of getting myself to be converted into a “Lizard-Man”. Mosquitoes usually end up biting me. If I am in a room along with 5 other people….the mosquitoe will find me and bite me. And add to it the fact that I am AB-ve the rarest blood group in the world. I mean I should be a delicacy, not the bloody main course.

Though I copied this sketch from somewhere but this one bears a striking resemblance to Sundari

Yesterday while having an after dinner stroll near my house, I heard the taps of horse’s hooves behind me. The scenes from “Sleepy Hollow” flashed in

A bad photograph but this is what I could click when the lady refuses to keep her head still.

front of me. It was just a mare, courtesy the marriage season in India. She was tall, slim and white. And she didn’t leave me till her owner came. She even followed the rickshaw I hired for some time. Reminded me of another mare in Amritsar Cantonment, where I first learned riding. She too was tall and slim and white and her handler called her Sundari. And was she a diva. No one knew when Sundari would throw a tantrum. She only liked a few people whom she let near her and ride her. The rest were thrown the moment they tried to get on. Luckily I was one of the few who rode her without tasting dirt.  Or maybe it was because of the sweet treat made of Jaggery I bought her each day. Yeah…you have to bribe everywhere. There were others too but the ones I remember besides Sundari are Bahadur and Shakti. Bahadur was the tallest beast there, standing at around 7 feet 9 inches, he towered over the others, and was also the gentlest and the most patient with new riders. Shakti was the one I rode when I was let out the first time to

One of my earliest sketch. I had Bahadur in mind

gallop around on my own and he stayed true.  The special routine was after the ride. You always gave your horse some sweet treat and nuzzled it. And mine always wanted more. Most of my pocket-money was spent in trying make them diabetic.

A few months ago while walking back home I had a strange incidence with an elephant. A couple of elephant handlers live a few kilometres away towards the Yamuna bank (outer ring road for the local). And they usually take their pachyderms via this route. A wholesale fruit and vegetable market is on the way and the elephants get some treat daily. This “Brobdingnagian Beauty” lumbered towards me despite the howling of the mahout. And then the trunk dropped around to give me an examination that would make any security person in an international airport proud. And that was the last day I wore my favourite shirt. Elephant rhinorrhea stains are a bit

She Came, She Sniffed, She Left Me With a Slimy Shirt

hard to remove, no matter what Ariel, Rin and Surf may claim.

I thought she liked me but it was the milk

Now I never was much of a cat guy but I was a bit taken aback when a rather young feline took interest in me.  Each day I was woken up by its constant wails (I don’t remember whether it was he or she). I was quite excited thinking that it liked me as it spent quite some time in my lap, but I was brought to ground when I realised that it was the milk in the bowl that was the magnet. Cats…..they cannot be trusted. But still the few days it was here it was fun. I never gave it a name but it called itself “Mao”. Must be Chinese…..I wondered if it had a “Little Red Book” hidden in the fur somewhere.

Now Dogs have been in my house for a long long time. And they are fun. And their shedding ensured that I always wore fur, whether summer or winter. And all dogs love to wake you up. They can’t see you asleep. Lily and Pansy both Pomeranians used to wake me up at 5 by pulling on my hands. And the last one, Toffee a German Shepherd, was a bit hard. Like all good Germans she was efficient. And when she jumped and landed her whole 35 kg body on your chest with a jerk…….you

Toffee and her bed were inseparable

jumped out of your bed. And if that didn’t work, there was always the most lethal weapon. The TOUNGUE. I was so used to all this routine that sometimes even a full face wash and head buts were not enough. On those days Toffee would climb up and into my blanket(which was almost daily). And then mother would arrive and find two “Dogs” sharing a blanket. She said I was more close to the dogs than any human. And who says dogs are not jealous? While coming back a couple of street dogs always greeted me(they still do), and so did the neighbours dogs. And when I returned home, the four-legged ladies smelled my hands and feet and face and then gave me questioning glances and sulked.

And then there were the rodents. There was this squirrel once that used to eat from my hands. A pretty little creature. I don’t know what happened to it. Never tried with other, as they are a bit suspicious and you need to have patience with the wild ones. They are like peacocks, shy but curious. A year ago the house was being remodeled and a family of mice decided to move in. For some consecutive nights I was awakened by one of them nibbling away at my finger tips. Now Lily was a hunter and while she was in the house, no rodent could dare enter. She used to run after, catch, kill small birds, mice, squirrel and then come and show me the

Didn't have a squirrel pic. So I guess this sketch would do as an illustration 😉

prize. Toffee was more like me….lazy. She liked her sleep and no one could wake her from her slumber. She would hear the commotion near her dinner plate. Open an eye to see a mouse scurrying away with a piece of bread from her plate. Look at it for a second…………then she would get up, change position and go back to dreamland. I once came home late for some consecutive days. Toffee didn’t sleep on day 1 and stayed at the door waiting for me, greeting me with howls of joy(she used to cry while greeting people). Day 2 she was on her bed and came to greet in a half asleep mood. She just wagged her tail twice with a short whimper. Day 3 she opened her eyes, lifted head a bit and a half tail wag. Day 4 she kept snoring and she was asleep on my bed.

And it was a task waking her up in winters. You need to take her out for a walk. Her highness is asleep. You pat her and tell her gently to wake up. Lily is already up and excited. Her highness would turn over and continue sleeping. This continued for the next 15 minutes or so. Then finally she  would rise slowly..yawn a bit, look at you in a cursing manner, stretch, shake, stretch some more…..then again look at the bed and try to go back, but a jerk on the leash would ensure that it would not happen….she would again curse you and then agree to go out. And never without her winter coat and muffler.

Bloody hell!!...it is too soggy now

The birds are a different breed. The pigeons and the sparrows nest on my window and AC frame each year. And by during nesting season, the air is filled with a loud cacophony of hungry chicks chirping for food. It is fun watching them and I can spend a lot of time doing that. Just sitting and watching. And are crows brainy? I once saw one trying to eat a rather dry piece of bread. It could not. It took the bread piece to a water pot, placed the bread inside the water.Let it be their for a minute and then ate it. On a tree nearby, a few kites live. The birds of prey have a unique way of greeting. Go near the tree and you will be hit on the head by a swooping kite. I have got this token of love many times. They don’t hurt, just graze over your hair. And people have these strange ideas. One of them asked me to shoot them with my rifle. He said, they eat human eyes and it will take my eyes out one day……quite ridiculous. It is the same with other animals.

No!!! He WON'T BITE

I have seen a few ladies telling their child to come back as there was a dog a hundred meters away, because it might bite. My hands have been nibbled and knawed/gnawed upon by a myriad of creatures, but never have they bitten me. And whenever a pup was chewing on my hands like all kids do…..some genius would always shout..”Eeek! It will bite you…put your hand away.” Damnit…even a human child “bites” when he/she is teething.

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Comments
9 Responses to “Me And Other Animals…..And Birds And Insects”
  1. Pooja says:

    You have a huge fan following don’t you, and you seem to revel in all the adoration that’s showered on you. That was one gigantic monologue. But I thoroughly enjoyed it :D!!!
    Even though I don’t share your awe and tolerance for all animals, I definitely wouldn’t recommend shooting any. That is just ghastly.

  2. Pzes says:

    Haha… Patty and other animals!
    Animal Farm! Four legs good, two legs bad.

  3. cooltwins says:

    that’s a very nice post 😀 so nice and the sketches are so good 🙂 i didn’t know you were such a good artist 🙂 again, a very good article 🙂

  4. Purbaray says:

    The edible, cuddable Prateek!!! And what a fan following you have! Must be some past life connection.

  5. Very Very Nice Patty! And the Sketches are too good!! 🙂

  6. Good Chemistry between you and Animal Patty.

    Prateek Parker… Ispiderman !! 😉

    Madhav’s Magic Blog

  7. Magali says:

    I love them all! ❤

  8. Alka says:

    If animals identify with you I guess u are a great person…Detailed yet interesting read.

  9. Kony says:

    And they wonder why animals are better than humans…

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