The Saturday Library Etiquettes

Silence Please
Be Quite
Shhh…You Are In a Library
Please Keep the Books Back

Remember the signs in the Library? They are still there…somewhere.

I had this “once in a week opportunity” to visit the British Council Library in New Delhi on a Saturday. I am a regular member and usually do my studies there….far from the maddening crowd.

But Saturdays are, as a certain Miss Black (not from the Potterish Gibberish) would describe “Partying Partying..YAY…Fun Fun Fun”

Somehow, there are workshops for kiddos, and the parents like all good Indian Parents tag along. Sarah Palin was a hockey mom, we have art class mom, robotic workshop mom, mom, glued to the kid with super glue mom, interrupting in bloody everything mom.

And when the Saturday crowd comes, the rules of the Library are re-written:

It is a Playground……

Let the kids roam around as you surf through the collection of DVDs and DVDs. It is a good place to play around. The kid will enjoy jumoing over the books of other people, play drums on tables nearby and give a much needed musical break to people who were concentrating deep into their books.

It Is a Picnic Spot……

And while you are at it, make it a family picnic. Bring a few friends. And especially good if you are applying for a new membership. Collect a couple of your friends and their kids. Come barging in. The kids will announce your arrival. And then order all the sandwiches available, bring out that groundnut mixture from your bag, get coffees and have a mini feast in the middle of the library while you fill the membership form.

Silent Mode On Phone?? What the hell is that??

………………………Nuff said

Talk Loud…

It is a Social Hub. The library is the perfect place to chat with an old friend, or get a business deal, or discuss recipes, or bitch about someone, or tell wife what to make for dinner, or make new acquaintances. All this on or off the phone. If on the phone then make sure you have the loudspeaker (of both the phone and your voice box) ON to negate any network problem. Otherwise you can just chat at the top of your voice. The others are much interested in hearing your views on the latest movie and why Kani should be with Raja.

Discuss the DVDs.….

Call home and check and recheck with them. Tell them the complete list of all DVDs available and then discuss. We understand that you only have a Sunday, so reading a novel is out of question. But we(the other people in the library) appreciate the fact that you take out the time to read and re-read the complete list to us like the waiter at a dhaba, but with recommendation and expert comments on each flick.

Excuse Me ???

Yeah, please don’t use it. I have waited in the queue for 20 minutes, I can wait for another 20. I see your ass is on fire. That happens when you have too much hot curry. My sympathies for you.

Don’t Bring Stationary…

Only losers bring their own stationary. The cool gang doesn’t. Why bring your own when you can borrow a pen from others. And they will be very willing to share especially if they are working with it. And NO..that is not an irritated mutter. That is a smile and a “Thank you for choosing me for this honour”

Talk Loudly………

on the Phone……Again….repeat 5 times

Other than these rules….. it is The British Library. So I was bombarded with the newly-wed couple. They were everywhere. Books on display about them. Feaking posters showing the Balding King to be and the Sister of her Royal Assness. So I asked a few people their views on this “Death by Royalty”…..

I Don’t Care. I am the Royal Arse

Ooohh…I say Beatrice, this is not the Halloween party is it?

Damn Eugenie…and I brought the Mongoose to showcase the jump through headring trick

The complete DVD will be available at the nearest British Library soon

Who pasted this thing? Wait…going to throw up….

I know…that is how I feel

19 Responses to “The Saturday Library Etiquettes”
  1. Writerzblock says:

    ROFL!!!! I can just picture the scene at the library. Once upon a time, I would have tut-tut-ed those ‘noisy badly behaved kids’ but now that I happen to have the noisiest one as my own, I would just say ‘What fun!!’ 🙂 Those pics were awesome. Esp the ..ahem.. ones that will be available soon! The pic of the little girl was the best of all 🙂

    • snowleopard says:

      Hmm…I guess motherhood changed you and now you are immune to the ruckus. But we poor souls still have sensitive hearing.

      • Writerzblock says:

        Ha ha. Instead of being the one who stares at noisy kids and ‘irresponsible parents’, I am now forced into being stared at !!! Yes, Motherhood does make one immune. To noise, dirt, runny noses, even puke. Ok, now I don’t want to psyche you out, in case you are still reading 😉

  2. Smitzy says:

    AWESOME!!! Don’t you feel like killing everybody in the radius of a metres around you when they disturb like that.. I DO!

  3. Purbaray says:

    Oooh… someone is mad as hell! But all this tamasha at the British Council Library? Why don’t they go to Haldiram instead?

  4. Pzes says:

    haha.. The library is now become a weekend attraction. Parents bring their kids to see something they’ve never seen before.

    🙂 Beatrice and Eugene wore good shoes but terrrrible hats!

    • snowleopard says:

      Its not just that Piyu. You also have to teach them how to behave in the library. They can’t just run around like that.
      Terrible will call those hats terrible

  5. Kartikay says:

    For the photographs you have shown me, I hate you.

  6. mayankpandey says:

    Not been to a library in a decade now. The last one was british library in blore. Looks like they have bent over the traditional sshhhhs to bring in some new followers.. everyone needs to keep pace with times i guess.

  7. Rajlakshmi says:

    hahaha ROFL what a tamasha in the library… oops if it remained a library at all…
    the last i went to the library was to return my last semester books 😛
    hillarious photos 😀

  8. vineet says:

    roflolmao..the pic slide slow was magnificient, lots of hue n cry abt this wedding n really this has become a pain in the ass finally,wont even buy d pirated DVDs fr sure or bettr will watch shaheed-e-bhagat boota singh instead of this hunkajunk..ultimate post

    • snowleopard says:

      🙂 Glad you liked it. And talking of Asses, Pippa’s has become quite a rage. Thats the most amazing thing that ever came out of a wedding.

  9. zephyr says:

    I have not been getting the posts by email. I am subscribing again. Came along to see why there were no posts to find so many I have missed! That one is quintessentially our own city. I remember we used to the restaurants as soon as they started serving precisely to escape from this crowd with its Sunnys and Buntys.

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