Shit Happened!!!


Ok, so I watched Delhi Belly. I really had to go and see what the hoopla was all about. Curiosity they say killed the cat, but

That too happenes due to Delhi Belly. As the taglie says "Shit Happens!"

this time the cat was rewarded. Delhi Belly, in simple terms defines the new standard of awesomeness for Indian Hindi Bollywood cinema.
In the beginning I was a bit skeptical about going  to watch it. Considering it has been directed by Abhinay Deo. He of the Game fame. Sadly, I saw that movie too (Does that make me a stalker?). And No, Aunty, I will never forgive you for that torture. You destroyed 3 hours of my time on earth and scarred me for life. You will be hearing from my lawyers soon. 😛
Anyway, coming back to Delhi Belly. As I said, it defines the awesomeness rules of this era. Kind of similar to what “Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron” did for our ancestors, in a time, long long past.

Like all soon to be cult movies, Delhi Belly hits the bull’s eye many times:

                                                                                 

Reason #989034 why women can't reverse properly

                     100 Minutes for those with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
Now this is something that many like me had been praying for. In this generation when most movies are torrented, and which are then watched from start to end in around 15 to 20 minutes with a few clicks of the mouse(or Shift+right direction key if you use VLC player), sitting in a theater, on not very comfortable seats is mostly for:

  •        Couples who needed a place to make out
  •        Masochists
  •        Sadists who take others along to watch them suffer
  •        Disillusioned people high on drugs
  •        Those who have been Lobotomized
  •        Yoga practitioners, practicing their patience and ability to remain calm and still

And along comes Delhi Belly, which in contrast to the thing it was named from, asks you to sit for only 100 odd minutes. So, you don’t have to play Angry Birds, munch a hole into your pocket, bite your nails, or any other thing to pass the time

                                                                                        

                                                                                                   Saigal Sings the Blues and other Wacky Hits

Saigal had became an Addict and went into depression after being forced into retirement. But he wouls soon do a 'Dada' in 2011

Remember the name. He of the nasal voice. The guy who made people scream during live concerts in the late 1940s and early 50s. Then came the Rafis and Kishores and RDs and SDs and he got a bit sidelined. But the legend struck right back at them with a chart topping blues number. Saigal is hot property again with the the song dedicated to water woes of Delhi. The movie has done where many movies have failed, it has relaunched the career graph of Saigal, and last I heard, many people are again downloading his old hits.

And its not just Saigal, but other wacky hits that include a certain Mr Bose, a Chudail and Shopkeepers from Karol Bagh asking Nakkadwallas to do disco.
The music sure is raking in enough moolah to make Ram Sampath sing “Ek Bangla Bane Nyara” in a nasal tone of course.

                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                                                 Orange Juice
Apparently this flick can be a good study on ways to use the humble orange juice besides as a drink. For those who have seen the movie, orange juice will never be the same again. Too bad for the Minute

100% Fresh 100% Real. Can be used at both ends

Made group. They will have to rethink strategies for Pulpy Orange, because the line “Contains Real Pulp” will certainly not be bringing in people.
Anyway, that is beside the point, orange juice can make a really good substitute for cleaning your ass:

  •      Orange contains citric acid that kills germs
  •      It has Vitamin C (Don’t know how it helps the rectum region)
  •      Remember that Orange Face Wash advertisements where they said that it helps the skin?
  •      And moreover, fruit cleaning is in. And you can use Real Orange to get Roughage for scrub

                                                                                                           Burka

French government can screw off, the Burka is here to stay. It may be hot, sticky right now, but I am sure Amitabh Bachhan and Shah Rukh Khan will soon have a hair oil and a talcum powder that would make life in Burka a cool trip to the mountains

                                                                              Expletives  Galore and 18+ Truly
The movie uses expletives unapologetically. And still refrains from crossing the ‘Crass’ line. Unlike the comedies that Sajid Khan has been dishing out lately, which attempt to be adult and 18+ but end up being in the list of things banned by the Geneva Convention.
The language is what you are likely to hear everyday in Delhi. From abuses to the photojournalist focusing the camera on a lady’s bosoms. Crazed up situations to the close up shot of a man’s hard on. Crotch scratching fried chicken to liquefied Poo. The movie stretches the genre like no other Indian movie has.

                                                                                                                         The Reporter Chick

Is it the hair cut or is it the intelligent look?

Poorna Jagannathan is HOT!!!….enough said
First Padma Lakshmi and now her……Damn! I have to move to a Southern Indian City

Overall, a movie that would remain a topic of discussion for a long time. It is a benchmark for other Indian movies now. Personally, I hated it(like I loved it)….please do take note of the use of brackets. Its I hated it but like I loved it in brackets…………………………………….
Ok, I will shut up now

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Comments
17 Responses to “Shit Happened!!!”
  1. Sapna says:

    First!!!!

    btw impressive review

  2. Purbaray says:

    Btw Poorna Jagannathan is old enough to be your Aunty! And thanks for calling me a sadist. You will be hearing from my lawyers too! Just make sure we don’t end up hiring the same one.

  3. Mayank says:

    I have finally figured out that Prateek is Snow Leopard in hide! 🙂
    Loved the movie for reasons you liked it to. Well for also finally making the hero go down on his knees for the lady (pun intended)… wonder why you choose to ignore that monumental step in hindi cinema! 🙂

    Poorna – now that I know your name, I am gonna stalk you a bit and am sure you are not gonna be my aunty’s age ! 🙂 Thank God for mercies.

  4. delhizen says:

    Can’t appreciate “greatness” ( read if there is any)… can’t figure out yet as I haven’t seen the movie!.. since you have been pestering me for a comment here it is!

    PS: anyone got the number for pest control? do share…

  5. Mayur says:

    I have plans to see it. May be I’ll get time to review. But I’m not sure if I will be writing THIS kind of review. 🙂

    Campus Ghanta has been inspiring your guts out, I guess

  6. CooperJal says:

    Great review of Delhi Belly and Boolywood.

  7. JYB says:

    Nice comprehensive post Prateek….Delhi belly indeed has hit the bull’s eye!

    For whatever isn’t here, visit: http://jhakaasyabakwaas.wordpress.com/

  8. Pzes says:

    Wait, so now I can use expletives freely. The whole country will be using the language very very freely.

    Anyway, I loved the movie! And KICK-ASS review! Very very cool ( in a nasal tone).

    Also, which city better than Bangalore huh? Huh?

  9. zephyr says:

    I haven’t seen the movie so can’t comment on it, but the review is great. btw, 80s can’t certainly be called the times of your ‘ancestors!’ when the movie Jaane bhi do yaaro was released. 🙂

  10. shubhamc21 says:

    i guess i have to watch the movie again, so that i’ll laugh everytime i remember what u said in ur article 😛

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