A Khap Writes!

I got hold of a page from the diary of a Khap leader. The name has been kept anonymous for security reasons….my own security to be precise.

Kay shor lagaya se? These media are fools. Always making troubles. Yo hai kay in hamaar village, I am not just the Head Khap but also Chief Scientist at “Tau Research Centre”. It is just opposite Chowdhary’s farm, right next to cow shed. There is big dumpyard, you just can’t miss.  And bhai, maari bhains ki kasam, it is world class research facility in Haryana. Maara matlab, in how many labs will you get khaat and hookah? We have bade wala perk…..especially after that Rani Mukherjee advertisement. Chhori says it is Munch, but I hit her with my latth. She is becoming too clever for her own good. This girl is going out of hand. I told her mother to abort but she doesn’t listen. And that girl wants to go school….she is asking for to be raped I tell you. She should get shaadi-ed and do chulha at the day and her husband at the night. She is going to be 10 next month now…..right age for shaadi, no?

Now coming to rape….you say it increasing in Haryana, media says Haryana bad….arrey, what wrong our boys do, eh tell me? These girls talk on mobile phones and send SMS. Bhai, taali te do haath se baje. But manne research kari se. Our boys have been drugged by these Chinkis. It is the Chowmein I tell you again and again. Just think rationally, China has the largest population….they eat Chowmein…..hence proved. But it is not just theory. Manne experiment kare su. I gave Chowmein to 5 dogs and then they went after the first kutiya they saw. Ghanniye interesting says I after seeing the action. And then Kalu from the other village repeated the same on his Billa (Chhora Cat). Then I tried to give it to the Bull because he not being interested in cows…..but the bull came after me. Hormonal imbalance I said…but Chhori says I should not have worn a Red Pagri…I hit her again with a latth. She was also texting on phone and giving Thakur’s Chorra invitation…..I think. That is why I told her mother to abort… but she doesn’t listen. Prevention better than Police complaint and Izzat killing later, I tell you.


It is a plot by the Chinese. I am saying that we should do research on this Pasta too. Manne to Chowmein ka coujin brother laage. Khap has banned Maggi too and also Top Ramon…this one is sabse kharaab. Look at what it has done to the Nehwal chhori. Daudo-ing on Badminton court, showing legs in shorts, running with boys. And she plays with the Chinese too.  Maari baat maano and call a Khap to Izzat kill her, before anything galat happens and naak gets cut. And no TV for maari chhori also. It corrupts her. What sanskaar will she learn with Priyanka Chopra coming on it and saying “Why should boys have all the fun”? Disgraceful I tell you. Must note for next Khap meet.

It is ghaniye asaan for media to put blame on boys. What do boys do? Bhai, chhoras will be chhoras. I am saying kay chhoriyan nu sambhalo. They are becoming too loose now. It is hard for chhoras to control especially after eating ek plate Chowmein. That reminds me, must go get patenting done for my Chowmein as Viagra research before any Umriki does it.

Ram! Ram!

9 Responses to “A Khap Writes!”
  1. Mahima says:

    You’ve hit the nail bang on the head. Awesome!

  2. metherebel says:

    Take a bow Mr.Leopard. Satire at its best 🙂

  3. purbaray says:

    Khap re khap re, what a philosoupy! Written like a true tau. Here, have a plate of chowmein 😛

    We must invite the Martians to kidnap them and do an extensive study on what goes in their heads. It defies human logic and makes the senseless feel like Einstein.

  4. Ah, also cellphones corrupt women. Wonder how come the khaps missed that. But anyways a Rajya Sabha MP enlightened us all yesterday :-/

  5. Can you imagine how easy it is for India to take down China, if there is ever a threat from that side? Just send a squadron or two of Haryanvis to Beijing and Shanghai. Surrounded by millions of tonnes of chowmein, I can’t event comprehend the destruction they will let loose there!

    I have an alternate take on this whole Haryanvi connection – hope you enjoy it!


  6. Priyanka Dey says:

    Is it just me or I have been eating more of chowmein post the Khaap comment! 😛
    Happy Birthday Snow Leopard ka Blog! Jindaah reh! 😀


    nice one man……….

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