And We Fail Again

The rage builds up. It is a cyclic process. They get angry. They will protest. Online petition. Candle light vigils. Poems. Blogs. Articles. Discussions. Share images of brutal justice from around the world……………India vs England…..T20……..everyone forgets. Another incident…the cycle starts again.

Anger is a good thing. But if it does not amount to anything, then it is just a burst of emotion. There are many Ram Singhs in the world. Can we and should we kill them all? I will incur the wrath of most by not agreeing to it….but still I will take my chance. Because frankly no punishment would be enough for them, therefore I will leave it to the Supreme Court to decide. Yes, I am aghast and ashamed by what happened a few days ago. But there is a reason why I am not going to sign any online petition (as discussed in a previous post: Click Here). Call me a cynic if you wish to, but I would rather see the change than merely talk about it. How will that happen? Even I am searching for an answer.

Does death penalty solve anything? What are the chances that it will deter people? Years ago, death was the punishment for most crimes, but still people committed those crimes. So technically, that would not make much difference. A swift justice on the other hand is essential because justice delayed is justice denied. But then again the question remains……do we need a strong law or a stronger implementation? But

More than that we need a change in the mindset. The mindset of the society that will blame the victim for being provocative. The mindset of the prosecutors who will try to find faults within the victim. The mindset of men who have a blown up image of their sexuality in their head. The two comics by the Garbage Bin show the hypocrisy that is on display daily.

It all boils down to education. The irony is that sex is a taboo topic in a society that gave birth to Kamasutra. The topic of sex is not something that needs to be shunned. It was, is and will remain. It is the reason we are here…it is the reason our race will continue.

It is education that will save the future from witnessing such horrendicities. Teach your kids not just about the birds and the bees, the good and the bad touch……but teach them more. Teach your son to take no as an answer. Teach him that a girl has the right to choose and that he should respect her decision. Because somehow in our patriarchal society, most men feel that women are an inferior specie. And till this mindset stays, the crimes would stay….whether we have death penalty or not.

Teach the kids from an early age that a penis is not an Emperor’s sceptre that allows them to rule. That a no is a no, no matter how short a skirt. Yes fall in love, have a crush on someone…but teach them that there is a line and that the line should not be crossed. Have fantasies but keep them to yourself. Teach them that might is not always right. That throwing acid on someone who has refused your advance is an act of cowardice. It is not a sign of masculinity.

Let them watch porn if they want to (anyway they are going to) but also teach them that there is a difference between that and the real world. That a woman walking alone is not looking for a sex partner. And neither are plumbers and pizza delivery guys the luckiest people in the world. Teach the son that if a girl talks to him politely, then it does not mean that she is available. Teach your kids that in life they won’t get everything and sometimes they may suffer from a broken heart. And with time they will get over it. But there is no justification for ruining someone’s life.

As a society grows so does it’s underbelly. It is not an excuse, but an observation. The day we teach the future generation mutual respect. The day we stop looking away when we see some wrong. The day we shed the mask of hypocrisy…that day the underbelly will begin to reduce.

Till then I would pray for my country. To be frank, each time the girl slipped into a coma, I wished she would not return. Because if she lives, our society will not let her live. And life would be a lifetime of torture for her. I know this is sad…but this is also the truth.


10 Responses to “And We Fail Again”
  1. purbaray says:

    And because we forgive and forget so easily, there’s always a next time.

    It shames me to introduce myself as a citizen of a country, where rape and brutality is second nature to so many men.

  2. Kanwar yudhabhey Singh says:

    Absolutely Correct……Hope it makes some impact some where …….

  3. Writerzblock says:

    Someone shd take your post and make this part of every school curriculum. I’m not joking. As part of Moral Science classes, they should teach every child, esp. the boys, about HOW TO BEHAVE with the opposite sex. And at home, families must lead by example. No point telling a boy to treat girls with respect if the man of the house abuses the woman! But as far as the death sentence goes, I am all for it!!! Death sentence per se is too less a punishment. Castration first, then they should be stoned to death as they do in some parts of the world. You will see the difference in society if we just start implementing the harshest of punishments for such barbaric acts and criminals.

  4. Zephyr says:

    We not only forgive and forget, we only do it when it doesn’t concern us. As long as I am not the victim — of any injustice whether sexual or otherwise, I will assuage my guilt by posting FB statuses and liking others, posting blogs and commenting. Period. We are a selfish people who can’t see beyond our noses and want to keep out of such things. We want to be the good person who doesn’t take a stand to avoid getting into muck — till it covers us.

    But SL, this goes beyond patriarchy and sexual superiority. It is a deeper seated malaise…

    Great post.

  5. Ruchira says:

    Sometimes you need an outlet to vent out the anger and the frustration and social media/protest marches etc. play a role there. These are also a medium of protest citizens use to let the government know how they feel.
    Having said that I agree with you that unless anger is channelized towards changing the situation it is a waste. It will be a shame if no concrete changes come out of this incident. The problem is deep-rooted and manifold – patriarchy, disrespect and total disregard of women as equals and a lack of basic decency and education. All these things can be worked upon but will take time, what we need to immediately reinforce is quick and firm action against the rapists. As you say it’s not the laws that need changing – it’s the way they are implemented.
    This is an extremely well thought out post. I am resharing it Snow Leopard.

  6. phoenixritu says:

    So true … and so depressing

  7. I have a problem with the mentality that says that my indignation is genuine and yours is cacophony! I maintain that every voice spoken against an evil even if on social media adds to the collective outrage and that mobilized both the media and the government to do something. But beyond the outrage, real solutions must be looked at. One of them as you rightly pointed out is teaching our sons from their childhood. More than teaching, it actually flows down from our own behavior that they imbibe. But, that is only one part of the problem. Peer pressure, lack of education, influence of media, cultural disparities, economic disparities, antiquated laws, lengthy trials, corrupt judiciary, insensitive police, the list just goes on and on. And each one of them must be looked at. I want change too!

  8. a brilliant write up…its our society we need to change……

  9. metherebel says:

    I agree with on death penalty wouldn’t help….it wouldn’t only make it easy for the culprits. The best punishment for crimes like rape would be the ones practiced in some countries in the middle east. Perhaps this would instill fear in the minds of the perpetrators.

    This is a Brilliant write-up!

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