Govind Tiwary Supporters Run Riot Over A Cracked Article
Allahabad/New Delhi: Riots broke out across India this morning. It started in Allahabad and spread throughout the
nation. The reason was an article Published by the US based Cracked Magazine titled “The 8 Worst Types of Blog on the Internet” Huge number of Govind Tiwary supporters went on a rampage on learning that their idol had not been featured in the list. Govind Tiwary is the latest sensation in India who rose to fame for his blogs. He
became an instant hit when his blogs and you-tube video feed became viral over Twitter. And since then he has been hailed as India’s answer to Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black. His Blinking photos have magical powers and a man claimed it cured him of Cancer. The Pope issued a statement that it was a miracle.
Typical of all riots in India, roads were blocked, vehicles were burnt and general mayhem ensued. Around a hundred people set themselves on fire while other protesters everywhere burnt effigies of Cracked and Chris Bucholz the man who wrote the article.
A huge crowd was gathered in front of Tiwary’s house, frantically chanting his name. Govind finally came out and was greeted with a mass blink salute. He asked his supporters to stay calm and not destroy public property. “This is an insult to all the Indian Bloggers. I have decided to go on a hunger strike to protest against this.” He sat down on an infinite hunger strike in the complex of the newly built temple that has been dedicated to him, as the devotees around sang “Kitna Bhola Hai”
This incident has caused a strain in Diplomatic relationships between India and the USA. An Indian Diplomat said, “The Americans think that they own
the world. Who are they to decide and make a list of worst blogs? We will not accept any such list which does not mention Govind Tiwary. If there is any worst list, an Indian has to be on it”
BJP put pressure on the centre to do something about it. “The Prime Minister and Mrs Gandhi should not remain quiet on this issue,” said Ms Sushma Swaraj “this is an attack on the very foundation of our democracy.” In reply to this, Congress Gen. Sec. Digvijay Singh said something which no one could understand as he had his foot in his mouth. Prime Minister
Manmohan Singh gave a public statement saying that all efforts will be made to reign in the culprits who committed this heinous crime. Rahul Gandhi just waved, smiled and blinked from behind. He later said he will go and stay with the people behind the Cracked magazine to try and understand their problems.
In their defense, Cracked says that the article categorized different blogs and never actually named any particular website. In reply to this statement, the President of the GTFC (Govind Tiwary Fan Club) said, “This is bullshit. They had given the example of Lenovo and Julia Roberts in their article.” The protesters demand that Cracked and the US Government apologize for hurting the sentiments of all Tiwaryites.
“You can’t close your ears to the voice of a Billion people. Tiwary is our God and we stand beside him forever.” said a protester as she lit herself on fire.