Pompous Political Potpourri


Politics is a strange thing. Love it or hate it, but you can’t ignore it. And certainly not when it is shovelled at your face in the form of trending hashtags that would make an army of Salman/SRK fanatics feel inadequate. These are the biggest reality shows on the planet. In fact, the only difference between a reality show and Indian elections is the SMS voting.

We, as a nation, are addicted to elections and voting. What better conversation topic than to discuss a scandal over a cup of chai while getting a chance to judge someone. And our politicians happily fuel this addiction of ours with their eccentric, megalomaniacal, foot in the mouth activities. Like a reality show aiming to accelerate falling TRPs, BJP introduced Kiran Bedi as a wild card entry and she ruffled more than a few feathers. Arvind Kejriwal, played the quintessential drama queen. While Justice Katju, Shazia Ilmi, Shanti Bhushan and others gave us ample fodder with fatuous statements now and then. If the streets of Delhi were full of noisy campaigns, the news channels conducted shouting matches between party representatives. Anyone and everyone had an opinion. Now, anyone and everyone will have an opinion poll.

The Delhi elections might be over, but it is far from over for the politically active masses. New dirt will be dug up, both fresh and stale poop shall be flung at each other. This has become so bad, that scientists might consider the poop flinging, especially during elections, as proof that humans have descendants from apes.

But while rolling in the mud, the contestants forget that their actions are being watched. And when they are covered in filth, it confuses people as to which is which, as they look from outside like farm animals. But as a citizen of a democratic country, I have this right to choose my ruler. Election day is the only day we can finger the political parties. The remaining days, we get screwed by them anyway.

That also reminds me, why am I always left out when the free booze is being distributed. As a matter of fact, I refuse to participate in the next elections till I receive at least 5 bottles of free liquor from a party’s candidate. But, I digress.
The timing of these elections was bad for the BJP. It was near Valentine’s Day. Which is also the time when suddenly, previously unknown Hindu organisations come forth with statements that are frightening, amusing and disturbing…..not necessarily in that order. If exit poll results of Delhi are true, then BJP’s strategy for the time being should be to keep this saffron brigade on a leash, Modi wave or not. But it is not just the saffron organisations. Other religions too have their fair share of loonies. In the end, India is truly a secular country. All religious groups/leaders get equal opportunity to make an ass of themselves and trend on Twitter; irrespective of their religion.

Talking of exit polls, though most of them have given AAP a thumping victory, they have also shown Indian National Congress the exit door. The writing was clear on the walls, while the AAP and BJP both were fighting for the throne of Delhi, Congress was fighting to remain relevant. Delhi Congress’s new tagline should be  “Kursyian do hi changiyan”

With so much hullabaloo for the exit polls, I would want the news channels to hire a horse race announcer to live comment on the election result day. And since horse trading is a staple scene post the election results, the equine theme can be maintained for a few days.

While the election based hashtags trend, let us also spare a thought for all the brands whose plans for a twitter contest were ruined by them. Especially those who wanted to ride on the Valentine’s wave. But for any brand, these exit polls have also given a good insight into Delhi’s consumer psychology. Freebies & gimmicks will make your brand do good here. AAP promised faster internet speed and it might fetch them 50 seats. Imagine if they had promised to lift ban on porn sites.

But as we look forward to maybe welcome the Muffler Man aka Arvind Kejriwal as our next Chief Minister, one cannot escape from a few obvious questions. Will Delhi be governed or will it be blasted with water cannons? Will the CM office be at Jantar Mantar or the India Gate? Will U turns be made compulsory on Delhi roads? Because for a city already drowning in the grime of it’s rotting underbelly, Delhi may not have the time or patience to keep coaxing a sulking Chief Minister. As citizens, we want policies that make things better in the long run.

Here is hoping that if Mr Kejriwal wins, he may be able to deliver. And deliver as a CM, not an activist. In the words of Julius Caesar – “Alea iacta est”….The dies is cast. And we hope that the fortunes of Delhi will change. If not, then good news for all those who were crying that Big Boss is over. Rejoice! It seems we may have elected a reality show as the government for the next 5 years.

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Comments
One Response to “Pompous Political Potpourri”
  1. purbaray says:

    Delhi voters took everyone including AAP by surprise. Maybe we’ve had enough of being ruled, suppressed, being told what to do. AAP has changed the way people look at politicians and now that Delhi has chosen, I hope they’ll not let them down.

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