Doctor in the House

Posted by snowleopard on December 13, 2009 · 3 Comments 

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” this is an age old saying and almost everyone must have heard of. But what if you live with doctors? My trouble is that out of the 5 members in my house, 3 belong to the medical profession. There are a lot of good things like free medicine and treatment. You get freebies from various pharmaceutical companies.

But there are a lot of negative points. You can’t fool your mother into believing that a packet of Maggie a day would fulfil your daily nutritional requirements. Trust me; I have been trying to do it since a long time. A well balanced diet is a must and you, even though the it may not appeal to your taste buds. And no one can save you if you suggest bringing dinner from outside. Even chaat should be bought from a clean and hygienic place, which I haven’t discovered in my 22 years of existence.

The handwriting of a doctor is legendary and is a source of many jokes. Though my Father and Grandfather are also doctors, they have a very neat and clear handwriting; I guess it must be because they were in the army. But, my mother stays true to the prejudice. When she writes, the script looks like a mixture Persian and Mandarin. It is so bad that Psychiatrists ask her to write paragraphs, which they then use for their ink-blot tests. But I hardly meet my mother, as she is a Gynaecologist and as you know our population is so big, and with us breeding like rabbits on Viagra, that almost every day the poor lady is on call.

Father is a surgeon and does both open and laparoscopy. Both mom and dad team up to pull out stubborn kids from the womb and he does other surgeries also. But what really irks me is the smell of chemicals used as disinfectant. No wonder they wear masks in the O.T.

Grandfather is a physician and has done preventive medicine, and this combination makes him even more fearsome. You cannot do anything that may hamper your health as prevention is better than cure. So everything has to be clean and in a proper and organised manner.

Now, most of their friend circle also consists of doctors. Earlier this year I broke my arm in a motorcycle accident and many of my parent’s friends and colleagues came to see me (I was taken to Dad’s hospital). That day, I realised what must be going through an amoeba’s mind while under a microscope. After my hand had been plastered and I woke up from the anaesthesia, there were about 15 white robed people in the room. I felt, I was in the middle of some ancient pagan ritual and they were druids. That must be because I was feeling a bit drowsy, but the moment I was fully awake, I was carpet bombed with questions. One wanted me to roll my wrist clockwise; the other wanted me to roll it anticlockwise. While someone else decided I should open and close my fists. After 5 minutes of inspection, they huddled together into a 15 minutes discussion. This happened 3 times and each time a new set of doctors arrived. Finally one lady doctor gave me a smile full of pity, which made me believe, I was suffering from a mortal disease.

Whatever jokes we make about doctors, they still know better than us about human body and it’s working. But we aren’t ready to accept that too. Just an hour ago an old lady was hit by a car. Not a major accident as the car was going at snail’s pace. The old timer just lost her balance and fell down. They called dad, who checked her up and proclaimed that the lady was all right and only requires a pain killer. Suddenly a number of housewives came forward, giving their own suggestions. “Don’t give the medicine, her blood pressure might go up/down.” “The Medicine is acidic and it should not be given at this age.” “She should drink haldi in milk”……etc. Dad just came home commenting that he wasn’t needed as better doctors than him were already present. The funny thing was, the lady couldn’t walk and said she was feeling drowsy, but the moment someone suggested she should be taken to a hospital, she got up and walked home.

Life with doctors is hard but full of interesting anecdotes, which are funny but also force you to think. Life is full of ironies, speaking of iron I better eat the egg plant vegetable on my plate because it is full of iron and good for my body.

Aaaaarrrrgghhhhh……. I just hate this vegetable.

Filed under Humour, Random Ramblings · Tagged with Doctor, Gynaecologist, Hospital, Medicine, Physician, Surgeon